We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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