I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize