i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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