I wanna bring you to show and tell
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
