I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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