But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
