Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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