Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
