Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I intend to get homeless drunk
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
