How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize