All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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