My brain says no but my pants say off.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
