I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
