Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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