We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Randomize
