I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
only you would photoshop your dick
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
