drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
