Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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