I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
