I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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