That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
