you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
