oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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