like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so let's talk penis.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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