I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize