At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
