I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
