why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
