You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
