Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
