Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
