she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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