im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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