its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
