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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
