Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
