i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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