I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
