Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
