Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
