Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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