Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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