It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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