we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
