Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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