I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
