and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
