Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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