I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
