my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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