Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
