The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
