The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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