thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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