yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
how does that bad decision feel?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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