wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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