I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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