It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
