The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize