what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
