Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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