i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
