My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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