You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
