yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
