I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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