True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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