Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
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