my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize