i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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