Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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