I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
