That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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